


Lord of the Pies

by Misha Berry (MishaDerps)



Series: Contest Winners [7]
Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics), Superman (Comics)
Genre: Baking, Gen, Humor, Pie, Rivalry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 08:21:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13566597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MishaDerps/pseuds/Misha%20Berry
Summary: Alfred Pennyworth and Martha Kent face off in an epic battle to finally answer once and for all; who makes the better apple pie?Direct sequel to Dinner Rush.





	Lord of the Pies

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hummingfox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hummingfox/gifts).



> This was another contest win from my fic Blood in the Water. The recipient wanted me to write a sequel to another contest prize fic Dinner Rush where we see who the better pie maker is.

Ever since Tim and Conner had come out as dating, the Wayne’s and the Kent’s had been trying to arrange a get together of both families. It was a lot more complicated than one might think, what with coordinating everyone’s schedules and random attacks on the planet that needed the attention of some or all of both families. Finally however, the date was set and everyone managed to get to Kansas at the right time. It was a tight squeeze with both families, but they’d manage it somehow.

Of course, with both families under the same roof, it brought the greatest rivalry between two of the strongest beings in the universe together to a head; Martha Kent and Alfred Pennyworth’s battle for who’s apple pie was superior.

Almost upon arrival, Alfred and Martha had commandeered the kitchen and chased everyone else off. Despite the delicious smells that emanated from the kitchen, no one dared go near. Those who were brave enough to get close enough to overhear the pleasant conversation between Alfred and Martha. Pleasant, because despite the rivalry, the two genuinely liked one another and found the other’s company delightful.

Eventually, the two emerged with a pie each, fresh and warm from the oven. They were set out on the dining room table for everyone to see. Both looked and smelled delicious, perfectly crispy and flaky, Martha’s with a traditional crust, simple and neat, and Alfred’s with a lattice crust, elegant and polished.

“Your pie looks wonderful Martha,” Alfred said, smiling faintly under his moustache, “So quaint and plain.”

Martha smiled right back, “Oh well, you know me, I don't really see the point in all that unnecessary flair.”

While trash talk existed outside of the confines of pleasant conversation, passive aggressive snark didn't seem to be off limits.

Alfred stood tall, “Well, the proof shall be in the pudding I suppose,” he said, “Now we taste test.”

Alfred and Martha turned to their gathered family. Bruce felt a shiver run up his spine and tried to slip out before anyone noticed.

“Master Bruce, sit  _ down _ ,” Alfred said firmly, stopping Bruce in his tracks. Bruce turned around and sat at the table, keeping his face neutral.

“Never seen him put his butt in a chair so fast,” Clark whispered to Lois, who pinched him and tried to stifle her giggles.

“Um, not to put a damper on this,” Dick said, “But how can you be sure of the results if it’s us?”

“Meaning?” Martha asked, already slicing a thin slice of pie.

“I think he’s talking about bias,” Lois said, “We might vote for whoever we’re closer to. Clark might automatically say Martha’s pie is better, where Bruce might choose Alfred’s pie.”

“That  _ is _ something to consider,” Alfred said, tapping his chin in consideration.

“We need someone who won’t let bias get in the way,” Dick said, “Someone who’ll be as honest as possible with no consideration for anyone’s feelings.”

Steph leaned back in her chair, “Hey Damian! Come in here for a sec!”

 

* * *

 

“They’re both good,” Damian said, wiping his mouth with his napkin politely.

“Everyone knows that they’re  _ good _ ,” Dick said, “But who’s is better?”

Damian considered both pies, focusing as hard as would if it were a serious case. He picked up his fork and tasted both again, cleansing his palate between each bite with a bite of bread. He set his fork down and leaned back in his chair, brows furrowing.

“They’re  _ both _ good,” Damian said again, “Mrs. Kent’s pie is quite sweet and the crust is perfectly soft and buttery without losing any crispness, while Pennyworth’s pie has a lingering tartness from the apple and the texture is smooth and doesn’t stick to your mouth. Both have their merits and detriments.” He took another bite of each pie, “I suppose it would all come down to preference.”

The whole room let out a breath, “So there’s no real answer?” Steph asked.

“None that I could give realistically,” Damian said, eating more pie, “I must say, I personally prefer less sweet pies. But that’s only a preference.”

“I always liked mine sweeter,” Dick said, “I guess there really isn’t much else to say.”

Alfred sighed, “I suppose not,” he said.

“Hey, what’s everyone doing in the dining room?” Conner asked, having just walked in. He and Tim had been out in the town on a date until just now, “Pie eating contest?”

“Looks like a taste test,” Tim said, “Who won?”

There was a pause, then more pie was cut, “Why don't you boys give it a go? You don't know whose pie is whose, so you won’t have any bias,” Martha said, handing out plates.

“Sweet!” Conner said, happily accepting the pies. He and Tim ate a few bites of both, everyone watching in anticipation.

“They’re both good,” Conner said, “I don’t think I can decide.”

The room let out a collective groan. They were about to start arguing again when Tim piped up, “I think the one in the kitchen was better.”

Everyone stilled, “The one in the kitchen?” Bruce asked.

“Yeah, that one was really good,” Conner agreed, “I think I preferred that one.”

There was a pause before everyone practically stampeded towards the kitchen. On the counter was a third pie, slightly lopsided and a bit burnt at the very edges. Jason and Jon were at the sink cleaning the mixing bowls.

“Hey guys. Pie?” Jason said over his shoulder.

“You made a pie?” Martha asked.

“We did,” Jason said, nudging Jon, “There was all the ingredients out, so we decided ‘what the hell’.”

Martha and Alfred glanced at each other; both of them stepped forward and cut a slice of pie. They took a bite and chewed for a minute.

“This is delicious,” Martha said.

“And you just did this on a whim?” Alfred asked.

Jason smiled, “I can’t take all the credit,” he said, “It was Jon’s idea to use honey instead of sugar.”

“I also pulverized the apples!” Jon said, lifting off the ground in his excitement, “So they’re all soft but there’s still some chunks.”

Alfred and Martha exchanged a look. With an amused smile, he extended his hand, “I believe this calls for a truce my dear.”

Martha giggled and took his hand, “I think it does.”

Everyone else breathed a long sigh of relief. And so, the Great Pie Rivalry came to an end.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to win a fic, head on over to my fic Blood in the Water and pay attention to chapter updates.


End file.
